Recovering After a Break-Up

No matter how awful a relationship is it seems like we still go through the stages of pain associated with the end of one. Whether he cheated on you, she nagged you to death, he didn't respect you or she made your life a living hell we still mourn the end of a relationship. The question is why? Why would we cling to something that makes us unhappy?

After even a bad break up some go through a tough period. You don't sleep, eat or communicate with others. You might sleep too much or even turn to partying too much. Whatever the case this self-destructive behaviour will help no one.

You can be right in the midst of a break up and be reaching desperately for the past. The good times. However long ago they were. Break-ups hurt like anything no matter how much of a right choice they are. Sometimes after one we start behaving in self-destructive ways. We choose to only surround ourselves with those who are feeling the same way (hurt) that we are. We avoid those who ask us questions like, "So, have you two spoken?" Isolating yourself with people who are wallowing in their pain is not the way to get over yours. You have to be pro-active in order to get over your broken heart.

While there are many different types of and reasons for break-ups the responses usually all into a couple of categories:

1) Wanting Revenge: Some think that revenge is the best medicine to mend a broken heart. Seeing someone else go through pain somehow makes you feel better. You don't necessarily have to wreak physical or mental pain on the person, but a simple thing like looking great is enough (in your mind) to make the person suffer like you.

2) Go Straight into Another Relationship: Many advocate that the way to get over a relationship is to jump right into another. That could mean dating someone or even just sleeping with people. They think that this will help you get over your feelings for your ex. You have to open your heart to someone new. Rebounds are a way to see yourself in a different light. To see that someone places value on you and finds you attractive can be an ego booster. And hey, even a rebound can turn into something meaningful.

3) Find Yourself: While this might seem too New Agey for some it really works for others. You can now take the time to work on yourself without the distraction of having to tend to the needs of another. Think about things and don't do anything irrational that you will regret later.

4) Let Time Pass: Some believe that only time can mend a broken heart. Take each day as it comes and know that nothing lasts forever. So just wait it out.

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