It caused me to think when I was recently asked by the woman I was seeing how many women I had slept with. I gave her my usual answer of “I don’t know. Around 20.” That has been my answer for several years now.
The truth is I don’t know exactly how many people I’ve slept with…I don’t ask the women I’m with that question because I don’t really care. After some research, I now realize that I’m in the minority. When I asked some of my male friends if they cared the answer was a resounding, “yes”. I also discovered that if the woman’s number is high it is often a source of tension. Interesting…
What a man wants out of a relationship is that it is special. Surprised? Read on. How can that feeling be achieved if you are 1 of 25? Intimidating! Feeling like you are just one of many doesn’t do much for the old self esteem. But there is also a problem of her number being low. Then the assumption is that the sex is no way casual for her. A worry then rears its ugly head that she will be more serious than me. Some guys ask the question just to get a picture of what a woman is looking for.
Bottom line is that the guys hope that the woman’s number is lower than theirs. But women with higher numbers (I’ll let you know what that is later on) fear not as there is still hope. If a woman is confident enough to be alright with whatever your number is then most likely so will he.
Men tend to claim somewhere between 6 to 8 partners while the average for women is around 4. Women tend to shave a few numbers off while men tend to round up or off to what they think their partner wants to hear.
The double standard continues. If a woman claims have lost count of her number of partners then she will be stigmatized. There really is no such thing as a perfect number of partners. Our number matters much less than what you think. If you are embarrassed then that feeling of insecurity will be passed on to your partner. They might think that they too will be thought of as a mistake later on. No one wants that. The best thing to do is to feel that every one of your partners was special whether your time with them was long or short. Connection to a human cannot be measured with a number.