When we think of athletes we think of superhumans with bodies more akin to machines. We almost forget that they are human and can get hurt. Sports fans out there have all seen some horrific sports injuries that we cannot erase from our memories like Moises Alou of the Montreal Expos badly fractured ankle, Washington Redskin quarterback Joe Theismann’s compound fracture of his leg and NCAA basketball player Kevin Ward of Louisville’s compound fracture of his leg. Those ones turn our stomachs if we don’t manage to look away. While no one There are some sports (and I use the word sports lightly as most of the injuries on the list happened away from the playing field or ice) injuries that are just funny. Here’s a list of my personal favourites:
1) During the 1990 Major League Baseball season Atlanta Braves starting pitcher John Smoltz, who was considered a cerebral athlete, decided to save some time and iron his shirt while he was wearing it. Obviously he didn’t think it through. He tried to deny the validity of the story in the beginning and now has given up denying it. Proof that smart people do stupid things.
2) In the summer of 2008 St. Louis Blues defenseman Erik Johnson hurt himself during the team’s annual preseason golf tournament. The story is that he got his foot caught between the accelerator and brake while trying to get out of the golf cart. Rumour has it that alcohol must have been involved. Whatever the truth is the fact is that he tore both his MCL and ACL, had to have surgery and was out for the entire 2008-09 NHL season.
3) During the second to last game of the season the NBA Phoenix Suns’ Charles Barkley made the winning shot and was so exciting that when he went over to celebrate with point guard Kevin Johnson to hug him they banged knees. Barkley is much bigger than Johnson and Johnson so the point guard emerged worse for the wear. He hurt his knee so badly that he did not play the last game of the season nor the first game of the playoffs.
4) NHL goalie Glenn Healy was in his last season playing for the Toronto Maple Leafs in 2000-01 when he suffered a bizarre hand injury that required 40 stitches. The cutting of his hand occurred when he was engaged in his hobby. Healy is passionate about playing the bag pipes and was fixing up an antique bag pipe when he cut his hand.
5) England national soccer team goalie David Seaman broke his hand doing something unusual. Seaman claims, because the story sounds so unlikely, that he was reaching for the remote and somehow broke his hand.
6) MLB outfielder Marty Cordova of the Baltimore Orioles burnt his face by falling asleep in a tanning bed. His doctor told him he could not risk any further sun exposure until it healed so he ended up missing some games.
7) New York Giants wide receiver Plaxico Burress shot himself in the leg with his own gun while it was in his pocket in a club because he forgot to put the safety on. That is all.
8) During the 2004 season home run hitter Sammy Sosa strained a ligament in his lower back while sneezing. Maybe due to all the artificially created muscles he created in his taking of steroids.
9) New York Knicks centre Amar’e Stoudemire missed some time during the 2011-12 playoffs because of stitches on the palm of his hand. How did he get those stitches you ask? Well, glad you asked. He got them punching the glass in a fire extinguisher case. Stoudmire ended up missing one playoff game as a result and the Knicks were bounced out of the playoffs quickly.
10) My personal favourite is the dislocated jaw suffered by Manchester United goalkeeper Alex Stepney. During the 1975 season he supposedly injured his jaw while yelling at his teammates too vigourously. Yelling so much your jaw pops out…that’s cool!