Didn’t Reese Witherspoon recently win an Oscar? How come I can remember that? Because it seems as if she has forgotten it. Examples of the films she has done since her winning turn in Walk the Line include Penelope, Four Christmases and How Do You Know. The latter was about a woman having to decide between two guys she is dating and going through some anxiety about the choice. Hmmm, that sounds a little familiar to me. Oh yeah, because it is the exact same plot as This Mean War! Did Reese think she would be able to slip that one by us? Just because some details have been altered like the two men she has to choose between being CIA agents doesn’t make it a different film. Hmmpphh!
FDR (Chris Pine – Star Trek, Into the Woods) and Tuck (Tom Hardy – Warrior, Mad Max: Fury Road) are CIA agents and best friends. Despite the fact that they are complete opposites, with FDR being a ladies’ man and Tuck still longing for the wife and son he used to be with, they would do anything for each other including put their lives on the line. All bets are off when the two friends discover that they are dating the same woman.
Lauren (Reese Witherspoon – Walk the Line, Legally Blonde) is a surprisingly single products reviewer. Tired of her friend’s lack of initiative when it comes to men, Lauren’s best friend Trish (Chelsea Handler – from television’s Chelsea Later) secretly signs her up on an online dating site. The ultra sensitive Tuck also is looking for love and signs himself up on the same site. As the gods would have it the two, Tuck and Lauren, end up going out on a date. It goes well. FDR becomes a fly in love’s ointment when after the date Lauren goes to a video store and bumps into him. After initially being turned off by his bravado, Lauren warms up to him as well. Now she has an embarrassment of riches or men and Lauren has to choose between two that she likes.
Being men of action FDR and Tuck are not going to leave things up to chance. They begin using their CIA tactics and ins to try and get a leg up on the other in the competition for Lauren. Winning Lauren’s heart becomes mission number one for the two agents.
Sometimes I wonder if film script writers live in the real world. Oftentimes the stuff they write would never come out of the mouth of any human I know. Hokey, cheesy and childish make up the majority of the dialogue in this film. After a time I began to wish for action scenes (which is not my usual preference) as there was no talking in them.
With the plot being completely inane and predictable, I had to look for other things to entertain me with this film. One bright spot was Chelsea Handler. She brought some levity to the mundaness. Pretty much playing herself, Handler’s Trish was no nonsense and hilarious. I thank her for giving me a couple of laughs to cling to in a sea of eye rolling.
Despite the fact that all three leads are quite attractive that wasn’t enough to save this insult to my intellect.
-Uncensored Gag Reel
-Alternate Opening Sequence