Can Having a Baby Really Save a Relationship?

Written by Sam

Tuesday, 01 December 2009 19:00

It has been something that has happened through the ages. Women have gotten pregnant thinking that this is the way to save their ailing marriages/relationships. When a woman feels that a relationship might be on the rocks her thoughts might turn to bringing a bundle of joy into the picture to try to right the ship. The question then becomes is a shaky relationship the right place to bring a young life into? And can having a baby actually save a relationship?

Women have been known to go to great lengths to keep a man around that she suspects is on his way out. Deliberately not taking their birth control or putting holes in condoms are methods that women have used to get pregnant. Getting pregnant seems a little rash to me! It also is quite a sacrifice as you are not buying a pair of shoes but rather bringing a human life into the world. It is not all wine and roses.

Having a child does not seem like the most romantic of times to this guy. There are plenty of sleepless nights and clothes with baby spit up on them in your future. That does not seem like a romance inducing environment to me. Besides I have been told by many a friend that a couple's sex life all but disappears after the birth of a child. You are just too tired. Where's the fix in that? If someone had his doubts would this make you stick around? I don't know.

I recently read a study that found out that 1 in 10 men actually cheated on their partners while they were pregnant (Hello, Tiger Woods). Dogs! The study showed that many men felt unimportant, ignored and trapped once their partners got pregnant. They worry about their independence, sex lives and careers. All this worry sometimes leads to them to go outside the relationship for some attention and sex.

Relationships are tough enough and a baby usually tests even the strongest of relationships. It is a lot of responsibility and work which adds up to more stress. Who else are you going to take it out on but the only other adult in the mix? Having a baby while in a shaky relationship is like adding fuel to the fire and the result is often an explosion.

On the other hand, a pregnant woman often looks different in her partner's eyes. This is the woman who is going to have his child. It makes her more beautiful than he could have ever imagined. Pregnancy could have the effect of bringing them closer as a result.

So after all that we are back to the beginning. Does it really work? Is the baby- band-aid really a fix? No one can really answer that question. Sorry if that seems like a cop out to you but it is the truth.