The Pleasure of Pain

Or should that read the pain of pleasure…because it can definitely go both ways. Having someone nibble at my neck or ears or breasts can send my libido soaring; but on the other hand, having someone substituting their teeth for their lips gives kissing a whole new danger zone. Plus, figuring out your lover's comforts and discomforts can be incredibly painful, even with all the pleasure it gives. Demanding some hesitant man to bite "harder" can turn his pathetic gumming into some kind of death grip on a tender bit of flesh. Sometimes a girl feels like she's Goldie Locks with one bear biting too hard and another biting to soft but she never seems to run into baby bear who bites just right.

Love bites are an incredible part of foreplay, sex and kissing in general-or at least they can be if both parties are willing. The temptation to feel someone jump, yelp, groan and writhe when I sink my pearly whites into their smooth skin is almost overwhelming. Sometimes I feel that my partner is unconsciously begging to be touched and I oblige; one bite at a time.

This type of heavy handed petting should be discussed before infliction, as it is the unfortunate fact that bruises cannot be undone, they can only fade. Having an oval shaped hickey on your neck is only cool for about five minutes-then reality steps in and you have to go to work and face your boss. While catching site of such markings can send shivers of sexual delight down my spine-hearing my co-workers snickering comments can only send me down humiliation's lane. Hickeys and other markers should be left to the appropriate spots – like the thighs, or stomach or the underside of my breast. The problem thought, is that having someone bite their way down the side of my neck is almost sure-fire orgasm territory. The pleasure of pain ultimately leads to both climax and bruising. It almost makes wearing a turtleneck in June worth it…almost.

Then there is the difficulty of running into your new crush with your current lover's bite-marks all over your body. Nothing says possession more than a couple of perfect teeth imprints. I remember sleeping with one guy who already had a girlfriend. Was it my fault his perfect white skin begged to bitten? I'm not quite sure how he covered the different bruises I left on him. I guess that's all part of the larger love and lust scheme.

All in all, pain is definitely a part of pleasure…the intensity all depends on your taste and your partner's appetite.

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