Ever since those trio of ever so cute Jonas Brothers declared that they would remain virgins until marriage all of a sudden chastity has become cool again. Or has it? Not according to some women who see this latest push of chastity as a direct attack upon women controlling their own sexuality. Some feminists believe that this latest round of no sex before marriage is just a way for the sexuality of women to be controlled. Conspiracy theory or the truth? Read on…
Through the ages the sexuality women has always been a bone of contention. For reasons as varied as male ego or the safekeeping of bloodlines, the how and when of women having sex has always been a preoccupation. Present-day feminists argue that the controlling of women's sexuality continues even today through the seemingly innocent reintroduction of chastity before marriage. Are they just being paranoid or is there something to their claims?
Some have said that the preoccupation with virginity actually hurts women. It brings about those old preconceived notions that women can be put into one of two categories: virgin or whore. When left with those two choices what do you think young women would be inclined to chose? These misconceptions about sex and women who choose to have it are damaging and limiting.
As an example let's think about what we thought of Britney Spears while she was the girl who was a virgin (sweet and innocent) and then after it came out that she had sex (temptress, unstable, overly sexual) with Justin Timberlake. Why the change? Did she change or was it simply that we thought differently of her? Did her behaviour change because of the sex or simply in reaction to what the public thought of her?
The reality is that the prevailing sentiment amongst men is that they do not want to marry a girl who has had numerous sexual partners. She is a loose woman you might have sex with but definitely not someone who you will choose as the mother of your children. If we flip that around, a man who has had multiple sexual partners is thought of as a stud. Why the double standard? Even in today's supposedly enlightened days women have it tough when it comes to sex.
Despite the pressure to remain chaste before marriage young women today are still choosing to become sexually active before marriage. Sex before marriage is argued to be quite important. It allows two people to see if they are compatible on that – let's not kid ourselves – very important level.
Sex before marriage should be a personal choice. That both of the sexes begins on an equal footing while making said choice should be obvious. There should be no hard and fast (pardon the pun) rule.
In regards to the latest pushing of chastity before marriage I think it has more to do with the rising teenage pregnancy rates and the proliferation of sexually transmitted diseases amongst young adults than with a deliberate conspiracy against the fairer sex. I do agree that we have to be careful when it comes to labels and double standards in regards to sex because they do tend to negatively affect women.